so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
