I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize