The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
