Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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