we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize