You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
