Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i now understand why vodka
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
