we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
