Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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