Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
