didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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