Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
