Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
