I smell stomach acid.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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