Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
