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Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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