i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
