Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize