do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
