the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
