i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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