I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
