if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I just sharted jello shots
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
