Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
