She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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