its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
