I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
