First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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