Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
