I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement