Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
