i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.