it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
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I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona