the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.