I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.