ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?