If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
