She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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