i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
