He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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