after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
