My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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