If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My bed smells like the plague
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