i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize