He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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