If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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