is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
