Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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