I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
