remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
