mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wear drunk well.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
