I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
