I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize