i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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