TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
