debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize