my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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