Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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