I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This house was built for laser tag.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
