Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
