Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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