Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
