tell your sister to shave her snatch
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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