tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Welp...herpes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
